Stoner Captions For Instagram

100+ Stoner Captions For Instagram

If you’re anything like me, your Instagram feed is filled with photos of plants and memes about how much more fun it is to smoke weed than drink. And if you’re anything like me, then you spend a lot of time looking for captions to put on those photos. But don’t worry! I’ve got your back. In fact, I’ve come up with some sneaky stoner captions that will fit perfectly on any picture you want to post online (#highfive). Here are just a few of my favorites:

Top 100 Stoner Captions For Instagram

  1. In dank we trust.
  2. “It’s 4:20 somewhere”
  3. “Smoke weed everyday”
  4. “Always blaze it”
  5. “Keep calm and smoke weed”
  6. “Weed is my favorite word”
  7. “I’m so high right now”
  8. “Don’t be a hater, just get high with me”
  9. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game”
  10. “High as a kite, soaring in the sky like an eagle.”
  11. “Dankest of dank memes.”
  12. “You can’t spell ‘high’ without ‘hi’!”
  13. Do you ever get so high that you forget how high you are?
  14. Grow weed, not hate.
  15. I’m here for the bud, not the boys.
  16. I’m a stoner, not a criminal.
  17. I am high on life!
  18. You can’t buy happiness but you can buy weed and that’s pretty much the same thing.
  19. Cannabis won’t kill you unless you fall on your bong and break it over your head.
  20. If you’re reading this post then you’ve probably been smoking too much pot!
  21. “Stoners are like snowflakes: no two are alike.”
  22. “If you smoke weed, you will get high if you don’t smoke weed, what’s your problem?”
  23. “Live fast die young, stay high forever!”
  24. There’s a difference between being high and being dumb and I know the difference!
  25. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem!
  26. A friend with weed is a friend indeed
  27. I’m sorry for my bluntness, that’s just how I roll
  28. Highest in the room
  29. Smoke like nobody’s watching
  30. Weed will never cheat on you.
  31. Don’t panic, it’s organic!
  32. I’ve got 99 problems and 420 solutions
  33. Smoke like nobody’s watching.
  34. I’m a stoner, not a pot head
  35. Hanging with my buds at the house
  36. Don’t hate me because I’m high
  37. “I love being high”
  38. “It’s all good”
  39. Weed is my life!
  40. “When I see a weed, I smoke it.”
  41. “I’m high as fudge.”
  42. “The world is my bong.”
  43. When in doubt, smoke it out. 
  44. Changing the forecast with these clouds. 
  45. Roll it up. Smoke it up. 
  46. Shut up and smoke. 
  47. I need vitamin THC. 
  48. Work hard, smoke harder. 
  49.  Hail to the dank! 
  50. Why cry when you can smoke? 
  51. “Don’t blame it on the sunshine.”
  52. “I thought I was having an acid flashback, but it was just the munchies.”
  53. “It’s all about me, me, ME! And my weed!”
  54. 420, bro!
  55. If a pot can get ya baked… Does that mean a crack pipe can get you cracked?
  56. “I’m not here to talk about my problems, I’m here to smoke some weed.”
  57. “If you don’t like our music, you can sit there and listen to yours. We don’t care, we’re high.”
  58. “The only thing better than one girl is multiple girls… and weed.”
  59. “The best way to get over a guy is to get under another guy… and more weed.”
  60. “There are no problems, only solutions… in a spliff!”
  61. “I don’t care what they say, I just wanna smoke weed all day!”
  62. “I have learned that life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get… but it’s always gonna be good! 🙂 #420”
  63. “All the best ideas come to you when you’re stoned.”
  64. “I’ve been awake since my last sleep.”
  65. “I’m just here for the snacks.”
  66. “Don’t worry, I’m not high right now.”
  67. Weed is my favorite thing
  68. I’m all about the green
  69. My love for weed knows no bounds
  70. Just like every other day in my life, I’m smoking weed today too!
  71. Stoned never looked so good.
  72. I will marry Mary.
  73. Of course I know how to roll a joint.
  74. The grass is greener on my side.
  75. All you need is love and weed.
  76. I’m stoned, and so am I.
  77. I need a smoke break.
  78. When life hands you mids, make edibles.
  79. My happy place is the dispensary.
  80. Turn down the music cause the weed is loud enough already.
  81. I think the plant is calling my name.
  82. Wish I could just eat this whole thing.
  83. If you don’t like the way I roll, then get off my bong!
  84. “I’m so high right now, I can see the entire universe.”
  85. “I wish all of my friends were stoned all the time so we could hang out more often.”
  86. “If I had a dollar for every time I thought about weed… well, I guess that would make me pretty rich!”
  87. “You are my favorite stoner in the whole wide world!
  88. “Marijuana is my stress reliever, my boredom buster, and my creativity booster!”
  89. “I don’t know if it was the weed or what, but that movie was hilarious!”
  90. “All I want for Christmas is some new weed socks!”
  91. There’s no place I’d rather be than right here.
  92. Don’t kill my high because you’re low
  93. Marijuana is fuel for a creative mind
  94. That is not a drug, it’s a leaf
  95. Love me or hate me, either way I’m gonna smoke.
  96. Thank you, next strain.
  97. Weed is a vibe nobody can replace.
  98. When I die, bury me with my bong.
  99. I like big nugs, and I cannot lie.
  100. My blood type is THC.

Stoner Captions are funny captions written by stoners. Everyone knows that weed smokers have a different kind of humor. The same can be said for Instagram and Facebook Stoner Captions for all the cool people who like to post their priceless photo shots on Instagram.

Let us know your favorites and what captions you use in the comments section below. Have a great holiday filled with good company and good times.

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